in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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