sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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