So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
