they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
