Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
