I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
