Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
