windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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