I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Say something about gay babies.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
