booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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