At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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