she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
