First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
