you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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