im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can't put those talents on a resume
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
