dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
