Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
