Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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