I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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