Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
