He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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