tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
