I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize