Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
