I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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