you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
