I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
