i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
