My liver just broke up with me...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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