You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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