Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
