When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
