It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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