Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
