I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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