Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
