I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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