Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I will be naked everywhere
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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