I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize