Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
