Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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