i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
