Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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