Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
