They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
