I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
