After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
