New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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