You just made me feel so damn special
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
