Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I touched a dick in church today
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
