Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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