Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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