yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
pray to the hookup gods
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
