She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize