Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
