i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
