This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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