some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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