he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
