Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize