weddingsv make me drug and hornr
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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