ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
