its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
