he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
