Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I love having hate sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
