too bad you live with your parents still
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
