She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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