I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
